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Societal standards of beauty are not only arbitrary but often literally impossible to achieve without Photoshop and make-up and there are assholes out there who feel empowered to mock fat people with impunity.

But being large and in charge doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to a life of being forever alone; in fact, you may find that you have far more options for finding love, sex and happiness than you’d ever believe possible. There are plenty of notable examples out there if you look around. Seth Rogan is no Abercrombie and Fitch model but he’s also happily married.

And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.” I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.

Moreover, all fat people aren’t created equal; scientists have found that many people – as many as 1 in 4 – can be overweight without suffering from the health issues such as higher incidents of heart disease, high blood-pressure and type-2 diabetes.

BMI is a profoundly inaccurate measure of just about and being skinny doesn’t guarantee good health.

Take, for example, this image from a feature in the UK periodical The Sun; they flipped the script by posing ordinary men in underwear ads a la David Beckham or Christiano Ronaldo: women prefer large and burly even when society insists that they only like guys who look like they’re 3% body fat.

More importantly though, it’s important to remember that attraction is about more than just looks – it’s about personality, presence and what you bring to the table.

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